• Evie Wilder

Broken Bones

A broken heart feels a bit like breaking a bone. You seem to go through a lot of the same steps.

First, there's the injury. Maybe you're walking along minding your own business, or maybe you're actually putting yourself out there and being a bit reckless. Either way, bam! Your shin is now pointing in the wrong direction. There's a bit of shock, but mostly just a lot of pain. Tears and screams may also be present.

Then there's the process of inspecting the damage, often this is more easily done in a haze of medication to ease the throbbing (rum anyone?).

Maybe you've got to wait a few days (or a few weeks) for the swelling to go down before you can have the proper surgery. Meanwhile, you're still broken and helpless. However long it takes, there's probably a few bumps while you're getting used to this new way your leg acts in space and with your body. You run into a corner, you see them with a new partner. You put a little too much weight on it, you try to rebound. You hobble to the bathroom and trip over nothing at all, there's a vague scent in the air that smells like them that one particular night. But instantly, immediately, and intensely, you are reminded that you are broken.

Once the Doc fixes you up (I think at this point it's just plain acceptance), you're still not quite done. Now you've got to heal. You've got this big cast to carry around, and it's heavy and awkward and once again, you're not sure how to navigate. But life has kept on going while you've just tried to do real basic things, so you know you've gotta catch up.

To be "good as new" and truly healed might just be the worst part of all this. But you can see progress in yourself as you upgrade from crutches to a cane, and the cast comes off and you go through physic to build up that strength you lost. You put your energy back into yourself again, into your passions and your work, catching up with friends and maybe going on a few real dates. Almost inevitably though, you buckle. Your still-recovering muscles have a bit of a glitch and you lose your balance. This probably happens more often than you like, but it's usually over fairly quickly, and most of the insult is to your ego, let's be real.

Eventually, without realizing it, you're back to your old self. And truthfully, probably even better than your old self. You've learned more about yourself, you've overcome a difficult period, and before you know it you're back to rock climbing without a harness.

A broken anything will heal with time if you let it, and give it the support they need. So just keep moving forward (Unless the Doctor prescribed bed rest. Then just chill for a minute).

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